so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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