Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
