what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
