well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
