WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
