So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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