You're completely useless in the revolution.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
