fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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