Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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