I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
