he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
