do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize