Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
