Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
