Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
that's an acceptable place to lick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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