so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He felt like a one man threesome
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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