Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
