bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
