apparently the secret to your success is patron
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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