I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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