And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sober January is a disaster.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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