you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
