My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
