There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
