don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
