he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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