Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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