I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
