Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
