well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
