just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
