I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
They took my balls.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
