Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
