3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
