This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
