i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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