Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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