I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
