READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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