I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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