i can't believe i had my finger in that
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
