Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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