I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
