I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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