i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
