Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
