Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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