so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
third nipple confirmed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
