OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
