Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
