Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
