i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
